Now Playing: Somefing Finally Happined
You know how I typed that February issa Boring Time to be typing the Hay Diaries blog onna'count obba Fakt that nothing ebber happins in February?
Well, I was wrong, lemme tell you.
Ennyways...it was not my fault.
Yestidday Maman gave Alla Us Togedder our Baby Organic Carrots and then she came back innu the BunRoom with a big armload of towels. And she stuffed alla them innu the washing machine, turned onna wadder and watched that for awhile while she was talking to Us, and she was, like,
"Lookit, we're gonna do laundry tiday. If we don't do it now, Phil will arrive and take over the washing machine and I'll not see it again bifore your Dadda runs outta socks, so I'm getting in a Head Start."
And I'm sitting in my Finking Spot, watching her, and I'm, like, "Hokay. Well, Good Luck with that, but those don't look like Dadda's socks you got in there."
And Maman went on, "So I'm gonna do this load of towels, then put them inna Dryer, and when they're done, then we can all fold towels together. Won't that be fun?"
And right about then, Da Dawg shows up with Wunna His Balls and axts Maman to come on out inna Back Gardin and Play. And Maman was like, "How many times have I told you? I'm not out here to Play Ball With You, Dawg! Go lie down!"
So Da Dawg dropped his ball nextest to Missy-and-My Habbytat and told Maman he hadda go Out On Patrol.
And Maman told him to "Go Lie Down!" onna'count obba Fakt that he'd "Just come in, damnit!" But Da Dawg said it wassa'Mergency, so Maman gave in and afta a Brief Struggle with the Door, managed to Let Him Out - where he stood onna Back Porch Steps, looking over his shoulder at her, axting her to Bring The Ball and Come On Out.
And Maman said unner her breath, "Stoopit Dawg. He does this to me every time I do the laundry!"
And I was like, "Well, you fall for it. I mean, I can't rilly blame him for trying..."
And Maman managed to focus in on me and said, "Shaddup, George."
And I was like, "Shutting up now..." and returned to Finking that Belinda Bunny was Right - Onna'count obba Fakt you can't have Too Good A Grasp Onna Obvious around Maman: it tends to 'Nnoy her.
So Maman struggled wiffa Back Door, got it Opin again and told Da Dawg, "Get in heer." and he did, acting all Waggy and somewhut ashamed because she'd caught him catching her out.
And Maman went off Uppystairs to do summa her "Werk".
So the Washing Machine was going, making it's usual noises, sloshing wadder around and humming and clicking to itself. And everyfing was Preddy Boring, with the towels gedding washed so Maman could make a start on Dadda's socks bifore Phil arrived and took over the Washing Machine. Da Dawg went innu Dining Room and lay down near to his Baskit Ob Balls, just in case sumbunny came that way and felt like Playing With Him.
So I stayed in my Finking Spot, sorta napping, and Missy dozed nextest to me, whin suddinly Little Foxie piped up frum her habbytat unner Dusty and said,
And I was like, "Whut?"
And Foxie said, "George, did you just miss the pootie-pan inna big way?"
And I was like, "Um, no. Why?"
And Foxie was like, "Look ober heer. Onna'count obba Fakt I gotta lotta hay going past..." and then she went, "Whaaa!" and *THUMPED* as loud as Wun Teeny Bunny can *thump*.
So of course, I jumped right up and hadda look over the side of the Habbytat - and so did Mr Mouse and Dusty and Missy - and we saw this huge, spreading pool of wadder that was rushing right past Foxie!
Well, I am the TopBun of Our Warren, but Mr Mouse was On Daytime 'Lert while Dusty was catching up on his sleep, but none of that mattered onna'count obba Fakt this was a 'Mergency.
So I was like, "Call Da Dawg! We need help!"
So Alla Us Togedder began to *THUMP* anna Dawg came, got his paws wet inna pool of Wadder and he was like, "This shouldn't be heer." because Border-Collies have a Great Grasp Obba Obvious, too.
And I was like, "Go get Dadda!"
So Da Dawg ran off and pretty soon we heard Dadda telling Da Dawg that he was "NOT PLAYING BALL!"
Anna Dawg, for whom the point of his getting Dadda quickly vanished over the top of his head like a stealth bomber, went, "Ball? You wanna play ball, NOW? Well... hokay!".
So I yelled frumma BunRoom, "Nooo, Stoopit!"
And then I heard Dadda say, "Or do you have to go out, son?"
Anna Dawg, who hassa Wun Track Brain is now alla'Lert onna'count obba Fakt he heard the werd "ball" began to bounce and get waggy, was like, "Ball? Outside? Yeah!"
So I yelled, "It's the Wadder! Tell him aboudda Wadder!" and kept *THUMPING* for all I was worth.
And then I heard Dadda walking frumma BedRoom, anna Dawg was dancing along beside him, and then Dadda said, "I wonder whut's up with George and the bunnies?"
But the Dawg was still fixated onna whole "Ball" Issue, and wasn't much help.
So I *THUMPED* some more and Alla Us Togedder yelled "Wadder! Help!"
And Dadda walked innu the Kitchen and saw Hay floating past Foxie.
And he knew right away that sumfing *RILLY BAD* had happined.
So he got sum Kitchen Roll and began wiping uppa floor, and eventually wiped up back far enough that he hadda whole roll of Kitchin Roll soaked with Wadder and the Washing Machine still had more Wadder in it.
So Dadda said sum Bad Werds in Anglo-Saxon that I am not Allowed To Type.
And THEN HE MOVED THE SALAD BANK!
And I was standing there, and *THUMPING* and I'm like, "NOOOOOOO!"
But he moved the Salad Bank Ennyways!
And do you know Whut? There wassa Hole-inna-Floor behind the Salad Bank that hadda Ring-Innit! And Dadda pulled the Ring-Inna-Floor, and up came a Part-Obba-Floor!
And Dadda looked downna Hole-Inna-Floor and then, he turned around, and walked outta the BunRoom and LEFT US THERE!
And Mouse, who was closest toda Hole-Inna-Floor was like, "We're all gonna die."
And I was like, "Is ennyfing coming up frum Down There?"
And Mouse said, "I fink I smell Cellar, like when Phil goes downnaUdderstairs to get stuff frum Maman's Pantry."
And Missy was like, "Well, we ain't gonna die of Cellar." and she went to Occupy the High Ground, onna'count obba Fakt that's Whut Does Do when they take a Defensive Stand for the Warren.
So Dadda came back with Maman and they stood looking atta Washing Machine, and they looked Grim.
And Dadda said to Maman. "I'm going to call Phil and we will replace the drain."
And Maman axted, "The Whole Drain?"
And I was like, "Whutebber *that* is."
And Dadda said, "Yes. The Whole Drain."
And Maman said, "Hokay. We are choiceless, onna'count obba Fakt that we need the Washing Machine - or you will be without socks!"
So Phil came over. And Phil looked down the Hole-Inna-Floor and said, "Well, I been shoved innu smaller holes than that inna Navy."
And Maman said, "That's because you fell Rear-End-Furst through a cargo-net."
And Phil looked at her and said, "At least I fit." and went off with Dadda.
So Phil went DownnaHole-inna-Floor.
And preddy soon, Dadda said, "Well, we gotta move the Bunnies Outta Heer."
And I was like, "Hold on."
But nobunny was listening, and inna few minits, Alla Us Togedder were pushed outta Our BunRoom and innu the DiningRoom. And Phil put the Partition between Mr Mouse and me and said we weren't to "Start Ennyfing", which was preddy stoopit, because there was Dusty not five feet away and he was like, "Noo Terrytory! MINE!"
So I was like, "Nope. Mine." and I carefully got innu the pootie-box and aimed High frumma High Ground. The fing is that Dusty doesn't know about aiming onna'count obba Fakt he is a YoungBun. So I won: I peed over the side and it went onnu Maman's Kitchin Floor.
And just as I figgered, Da Dawg came through on his way toda Back Door and to have a look DownnaHole-inna-Floor at Phil, and tracked through Whut I Did and carried sum right accrost the Kitchin, alla way innu the BunRoom.
So that was settled.
So Most Obba Day was spent with Phil DownnaHole-Inna-Floor and Dadda running up-and-down the Cellar Stairs.
Maman mostly stayed outta the way.
So when it finally was Late and Dark arrived and Phil had gone home, Dadda moved the Salad Bank back where it belonged, and Maman and Dadda mooved Alla Us Togedder back innu The BunRoom.
And Maman saw sumfing onna Kitchin Floor and she said to Dadda, "Okay, who did *this*? Because, look, the Dawg tracked it all over the place!"
And Dadda looked and he thought for a momint and then he said, "Well, George and Missy were there."
And Maman said, "Didn't enyone put uppa Partition?"
And Dadda said, "Well, between Mouse and George."
And Maman said, "Lookit, George and Mouse don't have a problem. It's George and Dusty."
And Dadda said, "But Dusty was all the way in the Dining Room and George was in the Kitchen. Besides, maybe it was Missy."
And Maman said, "Missy doesn't aim. George aims. And see? This was aimed right where the Dawg would come through and track it all over Hell and Creation."
And I was like, "No, only innu the BunRoom to show Who Is TopBun, onna'count obba Fakt the Wadder washed alla Right Smells Away."
And Maman was like, "It was George. I know it was George. GEORGE! What happined? Whut have you done? George! How *COULD* you?"
And I was like, "Whut?"
Onna'count obba Fakt that it's not my fault that Sumfing finally happined in February.
---------------------------------------- by George