Now Playing: This is Scary...
Well, you know, here I am with my mouth full of Salad again.
Isn't it nice?
MissyBun says all food is nice.
Dill is nice, Argula is nice, Cilantro is very nice; Mint is espcially nice when it comes with the lavender-coloured flowers attached, and Romaine lettuce, even the pale green parts nearest the core, aren't at all bad! And pellets are nice when you can pry them out of Maman (who has been miserly with them of late, for reasons unknown, but probably has to do with us having been at the v-e-t's!) and of course, fresh, fragrant Hay is totally wunnerful, as are ALL kinds of Froot.
Yes, Food is very, very nice!
And so here am I, George, with my mouth full, little prehensile lips reaching for more, and Maman says to me,
"Hey George, read this!"
So I got myself lifted up into her lap, set my paws on Dadda's Desk (Onna'count of-the-Fakt that Maman's 'Puter is still lying in pieces on her Study floor) and here is THIS editorial in today's Telegraph Online Edition!
It is about how hoomin women who are middle-aged are now werried about being skinny. Did you know that there are women who are starving themselves in the midst of plenty?
So I axted myself, "Why?"
And Maman said, "They are afraid."
And that didn't make much sense to me, so I hopped offa Maman's lap and went over to the futon where MissyBun was eating Romaine to axt her.
"So, howcome hoomins are so concerned about not eating when they got alla this food?"
And Missy looked at me. "Whut? Sumfing's wrong wiffa food?"
"Nope. Maman said they are afraid."
Missy's ears came up and sort of together as she frowned.
Now I know there are hoomins who say that bunnies do not frown because we do not have the facial muscles to frown with, or the brains to be capable of producing frown-inducing thoughts - which just says to me that these hoomins have never lived with HouseRabbits and have no practical hextperience with us. It seems to me that, no matter whut the Truth happens to be, there is always some ivy-encrusted tower-dweller who insists (in print) to know better and has secured a government grant in order to publish it abroad. And they all seem to cherish the hope of meeting Oprah - live, on-air, in front of millions - so they can demonstrate their ignorance on a grand scale.
But bunnies *do* frown, lemme tell you!
So Missy frowned, tore off anudder chunk of Romaine, and said, "That is so stoopit, it's skerry. Next off, sumbun will say it's a "syn-rome" and they'll all allow themselves to be herded off to a "re-hab" in order to hab more obbit."
And I was, like, "Whut?"
And Missy went on, "It's wike alla dis stuff I read about dis Brit-chik, you know? She gets innu trubble, den goes innu sumplace called 're-hab' and comes out to hab the same trubble all ober again. Dat's why it is called 're-hab' - so you can hab whutebber you had furst ob all, and hab it a sekond or fird or forf time and not be blamed for it. You can just say, 'I bin to re-hab' and so it's all hokay, or else sumbun sends you to 're-hab' so you can go ahead and hab it all ober again."
And I thought about this and it sounded just about right. There are lots of news articles about hoomins going into and out of "re-hab" so it really does seem like that's the place hoomins go to get out of having to deal with the consequences of whatever they've done.
"But how," I axt Missy. "Does this have ennyFing to do with not eating when there is lots to eat?"
And Missy grabbed a stem of Dill and began sucking it in, longways. "Because it's anudder way of making something that is Bad seem to be Good. Everybun knows that Starvation is Bad, but if you are rich, successful, middle-aged, and have everything, then you do it and it becomes Good. It's wike they are sayin', 'Oh wook at ME! I am rich and hab ebberyfing, so now I'm gonna Starve myself so *ebberybun* will notice ME!' Only hoomins could fink dat up, lemme tell you."
And Missy stopped long enough to grab a sprig of Mint. "Wookit yestidday." She went on, munching a large leaf. "Unkul Peter got up at six o'clock inna morning to go reskue a bunny-inna-cage dat was axtchually starvin', right?"
And I said, "Right." because I had heard Maman talking to Uncle Peter last night on the tellyphone, and that's what they had been talking about.
"Hokay." Said Missy. "So whut do you fink dat poor bunny did when Unkul Peter got it safely toda North Georgia House Rabbit Society Bunny Shelter?"
"Um," I guessed. "Had salad?" (Because I know Unkul Peter. He is a rilly soft-touch who hands out treats and salad like he has the key to the produce department at the local supermarket! You should have been here while he was visiting! It was great, rilly great!)
"You betcha." Said Missy. "Whin Maman wnt to gedda drink ob wadder, I talked to Sheeba and she told me alla'bout it. Da poor, starving bunny who was left behind by stoopit, cruel hoomins wif no way ob getting food for herself was so hungry dat she ate ebberyfing dat was put in frunt ob her - salad, pellets, and 'specially alla fresh hay she could stuff in. Because she was thin all rite - thin and cobbered in ticks and fleas - but she wasn't all proud ob herself for being thin. She was starving! And you fink for Wun Momint dat she cared whut udder bunnies thought about how she wooked? No way! All she cared about was habbin' enuf food to stay alive. Anna folks atta North Georgia House Rabbit Society gave her food and she ate it because she knew 'zactly whut it was like to be left behind and be genuinely hungry. She knew dat it was Bad. And dat is whut da hoomins are missing!"
"Dat being left behind and starving is bad." I said.
Missy nodded. "Dat starvation obba body begins wif starvation obba spirit. OnAlone is terrible, which is why we bunnies make such a fuss aboudd'it. Nobunny shuld ebber be left OnAlone. Not ebber."
"So," I ventued, "You're saying that alla these hoomins who are starving themselves when alla this food is alla'round them have been left OnAlone?"
MissyBun nodded. "It's part of this 're-hab' fing. 'Re-hab' is just anudder way ob leavin' ebberybun OnAlone to hab alla dis stuff all ober again wif nobunny caring enuf to stay wif dem to stop da cycle ob OnAlone. Sumtimes I fink dat hoomins need to be 'dopted as much as bunnies, only they won't do it. Now if hoomins wuld allow themselves to be 'dopted innu proper warrens, well, it mite make a dif'frence."
So I grabbed a hunk of Romaine and tore off some. Chewing does help you Fink!
And I Fink dat MissyBun might be right - that this "re-habbing" of Fings might not be a good idea at all, that it might be a way of trying to make Bad Fings seem to be Good Fings, so that even OnAlone can seem like a Good Fing when we Bunnies all know that OnAlone is the worst Fing that can befall ennybunny. Maybe 'doption into a stable, kind Warren is the only way to end OnAlone - for EveryBun!
But I don't know. This is a Huge Discussion, maybe, and Huge can be scary when you are used to allus being prey. Maybe we're just getting Started with it, and we need to talk aboudd'it with very many dif'frunt voices.
But one Fing I do know: Belinda was right! NoBunny must ever be OnAlone!
----------------------------- By George!