Now Playing: Dinner Is Late
Well, here I am, while "Dinner Is Being Held Up", Maman says.
Not in my paws or ennyfing wike dat onna'count obba Fakt dat I don't hab Opposable Thumbs, but because it's still frozen and hasn't finished thawin (whutebber dat is!), becos it got started late.
So Maman says it's Hokay for me to be up heer inna Study, typin' becos she is bizzy now inna Kitchin, trying to Get Fings Dun.
Wiffout Critters, she says.
Onna'count obba Fakt, she says, dat Critters (meaning Alla Us Togedder, and we Bunnies didn't ebben DO ennyfing, we just KNOW abouddit!) "Dat Critters are allus geddin'inna way"!
And dis is all onna'count obba Fakt obba Dawg anna Cokie-da-Fat-Cat Got Mail!
And we're not talkin' E-mail or D-mail, we're talkin' the reel kinda Mail dat arrives inna MailBox atta kerb and hasta be brought innu da Houz! Ushually only we Bunnies get dat kinda Mail frum Our Cousins, or Maman or Dadda gets dat kinda Mail, but dis time sum Fing arrived for Cokie-da-Fat-Cat and Marc-Border-Collie.
So dey gotta posty card and onna frunt it said, "To Cokie and Marc Hawpa", which was preddy cool. And whin Maman turned it ober, it said, "It's Time For A Bath!" and hadda pikchur obba hoppy widdle dawg (Dadda calls dem "a rat-onna-rope" or a "rat-onna-string") wif it's hair all dun up inna bow.
So Maman shows da posty to Marc and says inna happy tone ob voice, "Does Markie-boy wanta bath? Does he wanna go toda Spa?"
Anna Dawg starts bouncing up-and-down and he's wike, "Cool!"
But you know he just doesn't geddit, onna'count obba Fakt dat he can't read. He just sees stuff in black and white and hears dat Maman has on a "Happy Tone ob Voice", so it's wike, "Whutebber - if Maman's Happy, da Pack is Happy, so I'm Happy, too!"
Onna'count obba Fakt dat da Dawg issa Idiot.
So Maman is all pleased and goes off to show da potsy to Cokie-da-Fat-Cat who is taking up space inna Red Chair inna Sitting Room. You see, dat is his AftaNoon place. It's where the sunbeams are.
So we Bunnies are inna Bun Room and we can hear Maman going Downna Hallway, wiffa Dawg bouncing along'side ob her, onna'count obba Fakt dat being beside her while she's walkin' is his Job (so she doesn't fall ober - but lemme tell you, she can fall ober him as easy as not!) and you know how Border Collies are about Jobs...
They're bouncing along da Hallway and we Bunnies can hear Cokie-da-Fat-Cat who has been asleep and is Not Pleased about habbin' to Wake Up frum his Nap Inna Sunbeam.
And he's wike, "Whaaaaaaaa?"
And Maman's wike, "Lookit, Cokie! You Got Mail!"
And Cokie is not Impressed.
And we Bunnies can hear da Dawg, who is still bouncin', and Maman tells him to "Sit down, Marc! Marc! Sit down!" and there's this *thump* assa Dawg sorta pulls in all four feets and collapses onna carpet inna Sitting Room.
And we can hear Cokie-Cat, and he's wike, "Maaaaaail?"
So we hear nuffin' for a few minutes while Maman's showing him da Posty Card. And afta a minit, Maman says,
"It's frumma Spa, Cokie! You bemember Da Spa, don't you?"
And alla suddin, dere's da sound ob alla dis scramblin' goin' on inna Sitting Room.
And it's the sound obba Fat-Cat trying to ged frum Lying InsideOutUpsideDown innu UprightOnAllFourPaws in one movement...
And he's yellin' "SPAAAAAAA!" atta same time.
And Maman's going, "You wanna go toda Spa, don't you, Cokie-Cat? You're tired ob smelling wike an old privy-rug, aren't you, Sweetie-kitty? Don't you wanna go toda Spa and habba nice baf and smell all fresh and clean?"
Anna Dawg, onna'count obba Fakt dat he has just herd a werd dat he rekognizes, suddinly starts bouncin' again, and now he's barkin' da only werd he rekognizes, which is,
"Baf! Baf! Baf!"
And Maman starts yelling, "Marc! Shut up! Quiet!"
And suddinly, heer comes Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, paddlin' at high speeds downna hallway, wiffa Dawg hard on his heels, barkin' dat Dreded Werd,
"Baf! Baf! Baf!"
Anna Cat is runnin' as fast as he can and yellin', "Spaaa! Spaaaa! Nooo! Nooo!"
And Maman is yellin, "Marc! Get back here! Sit! Leeb dat Cat alone!"
And Marc is chasin' Cokie Uppystairs, still barkin' joyfully, "Baf! Baf! Baf!" like a moron, while Cokie's hustling to ged away for all he's worf.
So, while alla dis Noise is happinin', Dadda gets aboud half way Downnastairs, and he's yellin', "Are you all right, Sweetheart? " while da Cat anna Dawg sweeps past him onna way up...
And den Maman gets as far assa Libbin' Room and she's wike, "I'm fine."
But dere issa whole lotta noise and yellin' comin' frum Uppastairs in Dadda's Office where Beep-da-Udder-Cat has bin sleepin' onna footon, not takin' part in alla dis stuff.
Whin Cokie anna Dawg barge in, she screams out, "Whuttaheck?" and because she hassa *rilly* short temper, she takes a swing atta Dawg as he anna Cokie-Cat go past...
And Alla Us Togedder down inna Bun Room can hear da noise ob several sets ob feets running back and forfh ober our heds.
And Dadda turns onna stairs and shouts uppastairs, "Will you buggers knock it off!"
And suddinly, dere is Silence frum Uppystairs.
Cos da Dawg anna Catz hab stopped runnin onna'count obba Fakt dat Dadda has yelled.
And inna quiet, we Bunnies inna Bun Room hear Dadda as he axts Maman, "Do you mind me axting whut just happined?"
And dere is quiet for a minit and you can just see Maman wooking at him fora minit bifore she says,
"I dunno. Da Dawg anna Cat Got Mail. And dat's all I know." And she hands him da posty.
But Dadda didn't come out innu da Bun Room and axt us Whut Happined. Becos we could hab told him Why Dinner is Late...
-------------------- By George