Now Playing: Waiting for Law & Order
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Mr Mouse is really, RILLY 'noyed onna'count obba Fakt that evn though he issa 'Fishul Spokesbun and Mascot for Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC., the big, fairly noo tellyvision inna Sitting Room heer at Our Warren won't gedda good pikchur frumma channel-fingy so his old friends frumma show Law & Order can't come where he can see them.
Hokay, lemme hextplain, because dis is alla'bout Habbin' Choice, and Habbin Friends. Anna Small Mouse-coloured HouseBunny, whose name is Mr Mouse. I'd put inna pikchur ob him, but Tripod is *still* not letting me! (And I 'pologise for da "Comments" fingy not werking right, eidder. Mebbe sumbunny frum Tripod will see dis and FIXIT!)
Birfore Mr Mouse came to live at Our Warren, he wassa Special Friend to a very wunnerful man who came frum sumplace called "Liberia". And when The Man Frum Liberia was forced to gib up Mr Mouse, because his gurly bondmate-wife didn't want The Man Frum Liberia to lib wif Mr Mouse ennymore (or she would leave), The Man Frum Liberia didn't know Whut To Do. He didn't want to just turn Mr Mouse Out Obba House to try and lib OnAlone because he knew that Domestic HouseBunnies can't survive inna wild, and he wassa'fraid to just *gib* Mr Mouse to ennybunny because there are sum Very Bad People who are cruel to bunnies Out Inna Werld.
So, in order to be shure in his own heart that his dearest friend inna Whole Werld, that is, Mr Mouse, wuld nebber be hurted or skert, The Man Frum Liberia took Mr Mouse toda V-E-T's and asked dat his liddle friend be helped toda Rainbow Bridge, where he would allus be Safe.
Well, the V-E-T saw Mr Mouse and his widdle friend, LuckieBun, and felt sad datta Man Frum Liberia was being forced innu making such a terrible choice. So he axted The Man Frum Liberia if he wuld like forda V-E-T to call sum Bunny People who might adopt Mr Mouse and gib him and LuckieBun a Noo Home!
So The Man Frum Liberia told da V-E-T, "Yes! Please call those people!"
And that's how Mr Mouse and LuckieBun came to lib at Our Warren.
And something Maman discovered about Mr Mouse wassat he recognised da music he heard onna Tellyvision one night! And he made a big fuss in his habbytat, until Dadda piked him up and carried him innu da Sitting Room and let him sit onna Sofa nextest to Maman. And Maman let Mr Mouse hab sum Rice Chex cereals in his own liddle bowl, while he sat onna pillow and watched the show wiffa music he'd recognised.
And that show was Law & Order!
So ebbery time Mr Mouse hears the music frumma tellyvision show, Law & Order, he makes a big fuss, throwing toys and tipping ober stuff until he's piked up and taken innu da Sitting Room, placed on his pillow, gibbin his bowl ob cereal and allowed to watch his show, Law & Order. And when his show is ober, he gibs Maman a widdle nip (because he doesn't wike to watch da Noos; ONLY Law & Order) and goes back home to his Habbytat.
Da old tellyvision inna Sitting Room broke, and it couldn't be fixed, so Maman and Dadda (who didn't know enny bedda) went out and buyed dis big silver Tellyvision called an HDTV because it was on sumfing called a "sale". And they put it inna Sitting Room and brought Mr Mouse in to see his show, Law & Order, onnit.
Well, Mr Mouse sed dat pikchur was so BIG and so BRIGHT, that he thought dat alla stuff he was seeing was gonna jump offa dat tellyvision box, right innu da room wif him! And he was skert!
But then, it didn't, so he was Hokay.
But da fing is datta place where da pikcher comes frum changed da way da pikchur arrives at Our Warren's Tellyvision and now it doesn't come innu da Sitting Room all clear and BIG ennymore. It's all fuzzy, LOUD and 'noying.
And its been this way fora coupla months, so Mr Mouse hasn't been able to watch alla his friends on Law & Order. And he misses seeing his friends because they are kinda his last ties to his furst friend, The Man Frum Liberia. And this kinda sucks, you know, and is Depressin' for a Small, Mouse-coloured HouseRabbit.
And Mr Mouse seems so sad, sometimes that it makes Maman sad, too. So she and Mr Mouse tried watching "CIS:NY" and "CIS:Miami" and "NCIS" but Mouse sed he didn't rekonnize enny friends dere, and nuthin' to bemind him obba Man Frum Liberia, so he just told Maman to bring him back to his habbytat where he Sulked. He didn't ebben eat enny ob his Rice Chex cereal frum his liddle bowl, and so Maman felt bad for him.
And Maman sed the Whole Problem was down to Cable.
If we had Cable, we would also hab Law & Order. But Maman and Dadda sed dat we weren't gonna hab Cable onna'count obba Fakt dat in order to hab Cable, we wuld hab to pay alotta "munny" for useless stuff Maman and Dadda don't want, and ennyways, Verizon (who supplies our tellyphone and 'puters and ebberyfing else) was gonna get Cable soonest.
And then Our Warren would get Cable, too, and Mr Mouse would hab Law & Order back!
Yeah, well, Whut Happined is dis: The Cable Company sed dat nobun can hab Verizon Cable onna'count obba Fakt dat dey are da Onliest Cable Comp'ny ALLOWED to supply tellyvision inna Whole Area! And if Maman and Dadda wanna hab *enny cable at all* it will be frum Them!
And Maman got mad and sed sumfing aboud dis being 'Murica and she would ged Cable frum whomebber she damn-well liked, and if we hadda wait until Verizon could supply us wif Cable, den we wuld.
So heer we are, waiting...
...A whole Warren ob nice HouzRabbits, a Dawg, Two Catz anna Maman anna Dadda, all waiting to be allowed to hab Choice so we can watch One Tellyvision show along wif One Small Mouse-coloured BunnyRabbit Who Is Missing His Friend Frum Liberia.
Whut issa matta wif da Cable Company dat dey are afraid obba widdle competition frum Verizon? Why can't people choose to hab dere Cable come frum da Comp'ny dey want?
Maman says we gotta 'peshul Fibre-Optik-Cable allreddy inna houz; all sumbunny needs to do is to FLIP WUN STOOPIT SWITCH - and Mr Mouse can habba visit wif his friends frum Law & Order.
Mr Mouse says dat he's willing to talk to Verizon about being a Spokesbun for them so he can habba visit frum his old friends at Law & Order and be beminded ob The Man Frum Liberia who lubbed him so much dat he wuld nebber leave them OnAlone and instead brought Mr Mouse and LuckieBun to Our Warren.
All Verizon hasta do is to call me, George, (and I will talk to Maman) onna'count obba Fakt that Mr Mouse is too 'noyed to ebben talk to ennybunny right now. Because ebben though Mouse loves Maman and loves Dadda and loves being part obba MultiSpecies Home heer at Our Warren, he still would like to sit onna Sofa, on his pillow inna Sitting Room, and eat Rice Chex frum his widdle bowl and hab his old friends frum Law & Order come to pay a call, just for an hour, just wike dey allus did when he was libbin' wiffa Man Frum Liberia.
And den Mr Mouse will be able to go back to his habbytat afta watching Law & Order wif Maman, and hab sum hay and habba nap, and be a Happy HouseRabbit, knowing dat he is not ebber going to be OnAlone, and dat Sumbunny allus Cares For Him and dat He allus Cares For Sumbunny.
And dat, you know, is all a HouseBunny rilly ebber needs.
------------- By George