Now Playing: An Apology, and Latin
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises
Furst ob all, I want to apologise for yestiday's Blog being slightly messed up. Maman is changing around da "Fonts" command, trying to make The Hay Diaries easier to read, and then doesn't Tripod go and scramble summa my werds when it goes to publish dem toda Werld Wide Web? It is almost too much to bare (meaning dat it wooks a wot wike I was typing stuff wiffa nekkid brain), and Maman just geds Fed Up.
Ennyways, it's no use complaining to Tripod aboudda "How Fings Don't Werk" onna'count obba Fakt dat you write to dem, but nobun is there to reply.
You know how at yestiday's Power Brekfast I sed I hadda get bedda Communication Skills onna'count obba Fakt dat I am da Junior Executive ob Lagomorphin Enterprises, and also habba seat onna Bored ob Direktors?
And bemember I mentioned that Maman hadda rant going about "The American Educational System"?
Well, Maman stumbled out frumma Bedroom dis morning, fumbling for coffee, while we were habbing Our Warren's Sekond Power Brekfast. And she, me anna Hed ob HomeFruntDoor Security (that would be Da Dawg) all went Uppystairs to Maman's Study to read da Noospapers Online on her 'puter.
And Maman sed she didn't sleep berry well onna'count obba Fakt dat Sistah Beffy had called inna middle obba Night because she was in False Labour, and I sed, "Dat's right, onna'count obba Fakt dat I herd da tellyphone ring and I thumped, bemember?"
And Maman sed she bemembered, but dat she was preddy sure she hadn't been particuarly comforting because she had taken meddysin for her migraine and didn't feel at all well.
And she wondered a bit aboud wedder she should take meddysin if she felt bad, so she would sleep, or whether she should not take meddysin and stay awake all night and be grumpy all the nextest day, just in case Sistah Beffy called again.
And Maman sed, "Having babies is a pain inna butt. You nebber know when they are coming and everything lacks proper planning."
Which I thought was preddy funny, coming frum Maman, who can't plan ennyfing frum one minit toda nextest. And she is not ebben da one having the baby!
And Auntie Grace is calling Sistah Beffy "Poppin'Fresh" onna'count obba Fakt dat Sistah Beffy is looking Very Round atta momint, and Little Anastasia is due to arrive atta End Obba Month!
But, then, ennyways.
We ged Uppystairs and find out dat Dadda was alreddy in his Office onna'count obba Fakt dat he didn't sleep much eidder, because he was waiting alla night for Sistah Beffy to call back, saying she had gone toda Hospiddle. And Maman sed he shouldn't werry, her pains weren't reg'lar and only a half-hour apart, and were prob'ly False Labour, which is preddy normal wif Furst Babies. He shuld start geddin werried, Maman sed, when she calls and says her pains are ten minutes apart, and ebben den, dere will still be Time for a whole lotta the Ushual Family Buggering About bifore Da Main Event.
But I could tell Maman was werried. I am a Fully-growed Companion HouzRabbit and we can tell Fings.
Da Dawg, Maman and I went innu her Study and began to read da Noospapers Online, particuarly Da Daily Telegraph Online, and Da Guardian Unlimited online which are da noospapers frum Inkwand that Maman allus reads Furst. And inna Guardian there wassa article about learning Latin.
Hokay, now Latin issa language that Maman learned in School a long time ago. She feels it is Very Important, onna'count obba Fakt that by learning Latin, you also learn Inkwish and how sum udder languages werk. For some rezons, it is no longer offered to be taught in schools.
And Maman geds Very Upset that it is no longer being taught in schools; in Fakt, it is no longer ebben offered, so nobun can even choose to take it in School, ebben if they want to take it! Which means dat ebben if sumbun wanted to learn it to help them learn to communicate bedder in Inkwish, or if they wanted to learn Latin to help them learn sumfing else, or to improve their skills in communication or ebben their Logic skills or sum udder skills, they couldn't take it onna'count obba Fakt nobun would teach them!
And when Maman geds upset about Latin not being offered to students to take, people called "administrators" say Fings wike, "Leaning Latin is useless." and "No one speaks it." and "There are more important fings to learn that students aren't learning." and "Learning Latin issa Show-Off thing nobunny needs."
So Maman gets mad, because she says learning Latin would help students who don't know Inkwish learn how it werks, and help students who fink dey speak Inkwish alreddy learn to commicate bedder.
"A classical education," says Maman. "Does not imply exclusivity and/or financial privilage. An education in the classics teaches discipline, appriciation for cultural diversity and Logic."
And sumhow, her approach makes udder people get rilly mad at her.
Of course, Dadda may be right when he says dat it is not whut she is saying dat makes udder people mad, but da way she says it, wiffa sort of "What-are-you,-too-stoopit-to-lib?" kind ob expression on her face.
So ennyways, she's been hunting around for a long time to find a Really Good way to say Whut She Means inna non-threatening kind of way.
And she found it this morning inna article inna Guardian Unlimited Online noospaper, inna article by Mary Beard, entitled "Tacitus Was No Elitist":
"The good news is that, whatever its posh image, Latin is a hard subject in which the academically able thrive. It's rather like maths: money alone can't make you good at it."
And Maman sed, "That's it, exactly: money can't make ennybun good at any subject in school. Everybun has to study in order to learn, and some learn faster than others - but Every Bun needs to have the opportunity to learn as much as they are able to absorb at the rate they are able to absorb it! And then if they're too stoopit to learn, then, well, there are always jobs available that don't require *real* intellligence!"
So Maman suddenly felt that "somebun" agreed wif her about the subject of "Education" and that made her happy.
It doesn't take much to make Maman happy, lemme tell you!
But I got to Finking dat mebbe I should learn Latin, since I want to learn how to Communicate bedda assa Junior Executive ob Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC. So when I got back Downnastairs toda Bun Room, I axt MissyBun what she thought about me learning Latin - like, would it help me become more 'Tellygint?
And MissyBun sed she finks, dat: "Nebber mind Latin. Whut I fink issat all hoomins should learn to communicate in Lagomorphin."
"How do you werk dat wun out?" I axted her.
And she sed, "Inna same way dat I werked out ebberyfing else: Wogik. Hoomins should learn Lagomorphin for alla same reasons that you sed Maman sed dat they should learn to read and write in Latin, wif this additional reason thrown in: it would help students learn to care about anudder Species. Hoomins fink dey are *still* da only Species dat matters, and mebbe if dey learn to communicate inna'udder way, wike Our Way, dey will learn dat dey are not."
And I sed dat this idea had merit, onna'count obba Fakt dat Hoomins (who seem overly concerned wif each udders various "Cultures") shuld pay more 'Tension to alla udder Species wif whom they hab to share This Planet, mainly because they have to Share This Planet!
And MissyBun sed, "Dat's right." and she sniffed. "Hoomins fortyged dat dey are Stewards, not Owners ob dis place."
So I guess MissyBun is preddy right, ebben if her position is a liddle bit more extreme than Maman's: Students need to be offered the Hard Fings as well assa easy fings to learn. Ebberybun needs to become as 'Tellygint as they can - and nebber deny sumbun da chance to learn to communicate bedda!
And dere is nuffing wrong wif being a 'Tellygint Bunny.
------------------------ By George