Now Playing: Gas - I Need A Widdle Help Heer!
Topic: The Next Generation
Hokay, dis is sumfing I gotta know aboud, cos I don' unnerstand.
I was watchin' da Noos dis mornin' wif Maman. Well, axtchually, it was onna tellybishon an' it was called "Tiday", or "Good Day" or sumfing wif "day" innit, an' da hoomins onna show was talkin' aboud GAS an' how it costses so much munny.
An' Maman is sittin' dere inna Sittin' Room wif me, an' I'm sittin' onna settee wif her, anna Fat-Cat is sittin' in Dadda's Big Readin' Chair anna Dawg is spread out onna floor onna rug.
An' onna Tellybishon, dey are tawlkin' aboud GAS.
Well, as dey are talkin', alla suddin, da Dawg gets up frum sleepin' an' hassa wook at his tail. Den he, wike, sneeks a wook at me frum unnerneaf of his eyebrows, an' den he sneaks a wook atta Fat-Cat.
Anna Fat-Cat opins one eye an' stretches outta paw wif all ob his hooks pokin' out obbit.
An' den alla suddin', while I'm wigglin' my nose, I begin to smell sumfing.
An' it is nasty!
So I wook atta Dawg, an' I axt him, "Hey, Dawg, whuttaheckissat?"
Anna Dawg says, "I had sum cat-food."
An' alla suddin', da Fat-Cat sits up an' shakes an' wooks at Maman an' says, "She betta let you outside, Dawg, cos you STINK!
An' preddy soon Maman wooks at me wookin' atta Dawg an' she says, "George, dat can't be you!"
An' I wook at her an' say, "Nope, it sure isn't me cos I dunno whuttaheck dat was!"
Anna Dawg wooks at his tail again, an' says, "I fink I'm gonna moob. It's da chikin."
So I wook atta Dawg an' axt him, "Whutsamatta wif your back end dat you keep wookin' attit?"
"I got GAS." says da Dawg.
So I'm, wike, finkin' dis issa good fing, cos dey just was sayin' onna tellybishon dat GAS is so s'pensive, an' here we gots our berry own Dawg an' he's fulla GAS an' seems to be makin' more!
But Maman gets up frumma settee an' piks me up an' says toda Dawg, "You're goin' outside, Zachary-Marcus."
Anna Dawg says, "Yes, Ma'am." an' gets up an' follows behind Maman an' me as we go downnahall an' fru da Dinin' Room anna Kitchin an' innu da Bun Room. An' while we were passin' fru da Bun Room, Maman drops me off inna habbytat wif Missy.
So den Maman opins da door an' out goes da Dawg innu da Gardin'.
Anna Fat-Cat bumbles up an' Maman says to him, "Dere. Da Dawg's outside. Wet's hope he gets alla GAS outta his system out dere."
Anna Fat-cat is purrin' wike a big mixin' machine. An just afta he goes unnerneaf ob mine an' Missy's habbytat, he lifts up his tail an' says,
Which is cat-tawk for, "Wook at me! I gots GAS, too!"
An' den da Fat-Cat says, "Burrruck." which is cat-speak for: "I hadda chikin wast nite, too."
An Maman suddenly sniffs atta air, an she wooks down atta Fat-Cat an' hollers at'him, "Good Lord, Cokie! Go on, get upstairs to your pootie-box! You're going to suffocate the bunnies!"
Anna Fat-Cat wooks at her, and says, "Airrrr!" which is his way ob sayin' bad werds aboudda Dawg, an decids frum da wook on her face dat Maman issn't kiddin' 'bout goin' uppastairs. So he beats feets outta da Bun Room an heads forda stairs an' shambles on up.
An' Maman leebs da Bun Room mutterin' aboudda "... tell Brian - No more ob dat darned canned chikin cat-food!"
Which leebs me sittin' inna habbytat wif Missy. An Missy is sittin' wif her butt wedged inna pooty-box.
So I axted her, "You got enny ob dat GAS stuff innu?"
An' Missy wooks at me an wifts up wun ear all superior-wike, an' says,
"No. I'm a wady an' wadies don't ebber hab GAS. Not ebber. It's just a nasty boy-fing!"
So now I'm puzzled.
Cos iffa Fat-Cat has GAS, anna Dawg has GAS, an' GAS is such a s'pensib an' valuable commodity wike dey say it is onna tellybishon, den why is Maman wettin' alla GAS inna Fat-Cat anna Dawg an ebberybunny go outta da dem for free?
I mean, doesn't she wanna sell it? Or could we sell it an' ged rich?
Dadda sed dat if we culd sell Missy's pooties, we culd be rich. Dat's cos she has nice, round, big pooties. Dadda says dat Missy issa most 'ficient converter ob hay innu pooties dat he has ebber seed. An' he's seen a wotta pootie-converters, he says.
But for sum rezon, when Dadda says dis, Missy gets all mad an stuff.
But enneyways, I don' unnerstand enny ob dis stuff aboudda GAS!
Why do only Boyz habbit?
An' why issit so valuable?
An' why are dey tawkin' aboud GAS onna tellybishon? Don't dey hab enuf? Maybe we shuld send dem summa dat chikin cat-food?
An' why are our best sources ob GAS (an I know dis is troo cos Maman sed so!) - Why are our best sources ob GAS: Dadda, Phil, da Dawg an Cokie-da-Fat-Cat - just wettin' all obbit it woos innu da air for free? An'WHY is Maman wettin' dem!?
An' whuttaheck has chikin gotta do wiffit ennyways?
Enny help wuld be apprishyated, cos I am wun bewildered bunny!
-------- By George