Now Playing: Catz, Dawgs an' Werk
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, we gots Cat-Pwoblems again.
I'm Uppystairs again inna Office an' just-as-soon-as I gotted heer, dere wassa Cat onna desk.
An' don't'cha know it wassa Stoopit Cat, da wun dat Maman calls "Beep".
So I'm hangin' on to Maman's shoulder (da wun dat werks), an' Maman says toda Stoopit Cat, "Moob, Beep."
Anna Stoopit Cat just wooks at her.
An' I'm finkin' to myself,
"You know, George, whut's goin' on heer, issa wot wike whut was happin' wast nite."
Cos, wast nite, I was goin' innu da Sittin' Room wif Maman, anna Fat-Cat was sittin' inna Dadda's Big Readin' Chair. An' Dadda comes in an says toda Fat-Cat, "Moob Cokie", an' stawts ta siddown inna Big Readin' Chair.
Anna Fat-Cat wooks up an he sees Dadda's bottom comin down anna Fat-Cat goes, "Yrulp", which is kinda da sound he makes to show he's not moobin'.
But da Dadda-butt keeps on comin' down. So den whenna Dadda-butt comes down onna Cokie-tail, da Fat-Cat wet's outta 'Yhawl' an' den 'Whah!' an' den flips ober an' sinks his claws innu Dadda's weg.
An den Dadda goes -
Well, I'm not 'lowed to say whut Dadda sed, cos he says it's Anglo-Saxon which is notta language dat bunny-boys are susposed to type.
Butta Fat-Cat got outta da Big Readin' Chair inna hurry an' Dadda got innu it, so you can kinda fill inna bwanks for yourself.
An' dat's whut I was finkin' 'bout when Maman putted me down onna tabul dat is her desk.
Cos just when she putted me down, da Stoopit Cat goes, "Eeep", just wike dat an hops down offa tabul, onto Maman's chair.
So Maman tips da chair butta Stoopit Cat hangs on. So Maman tips da chair again, anna Stoopit Cat still hangs on - onna count obba fakt datta Dawg is sittin' rite unnerneaf obba chair wif his grin on.
So Maman tips da chair again, an' just as she does, da Stoopit Cat puts outta paw, puts da paw onna Dawg's hed, an' usin' da Dawg assa steppin' stone, walks ober da Dawg's hed, down his nek an' ober his bak to ged toda floor.
Which causes da Dawg to turn hisself innu a tight cirkul, step on his own tail an' stumble, an hit his hed onna tabul leg, while da Stoopit Cat just walks away frumma Dawg wif her tail inna air, wike she don't care.
An' I'm finkin' dat it must be hard bein' a Dawg when nobunny takes you seriously, cept assa steppin' stool to ged frumma chair toda floor or uses you assa auxtillyairy amblatory rubbish bin to putta left-obers in, as happined wast nite wiffa remains obba pizza an' dat strand ob hay.
You see, yestidday da Dawg founded a strand ob hay onna floor inna Bun Room an' he eated it an' got sik.
Well, not rite away, it was more wike dis:
He ate da strand ob hay inna Bun Room, den trabbelled alla way uppastairs toda Office bifore he started making heebin-tummy noises, which alerted Maman toda fakt datta Dawg was just about gonna become sik. Dawgs are good dat way; dey gib you warnin' dat dey are gonna be sik.
So, wiffa Dawg's sides goin' in an' oud wike anna'cordion, da Dawg an' Maman came poundin' downastairs rilly fast, made da turn atta bottom obba stairs an' charged fru da Libbin Room, made anudder turn, an' hedded on fru da Dinin' Room, wiffa Dawg's sides still heebin', an' runned fru da Kitchin, an on fru toda Bun Room, wif Maman hollerin', "Come on! Wet's go outside!" (Wike da Dawg hadda'nudder pwace to go to, you know?) while she's tryin' wike mad to gedda bak-door unwocked. So she geds da door unwocked, an' pushes him out obbit, anna Dawg bounds out innu da Gardin an' geds sik.
An bifore you know it, he's back sittin' onna steps an barkin', wantin' to come inside, cos geddin' sik is wun-obba-fings dat Dawgs wike to do!
You know, you can fink you know a Dawg an' nebber ged to da end ob dere minds. Dis is mainly cos dey don't hab minds, but dat's anudder story.
An' so ennyways, here comes da sun, an Dadda has gone off to werk. It's not his reg'lar werk. His reg'lar werk is wif 'puters for da place he usta werk where dey habba machines that cuts steel. It's da same pwace where dat good hoomin named Kutee werks who knowed Our Hunny an' called him "A respected elder ob his peeble." Which I fink wassa berry nice fing to say aboud Hunny, cos it was troo.
So Dadda's noo werk is atta same pwace, but it's runnin' da big machines werkin' along wif Kutee, helpin' out cossa Kutee's an' Dadda's friend, Peter, has re-tired an' goed home to visit his warren somewhere far away. I don't know where Peter's warren is, but I hope dat Peter hassa happy time bein' dere, cos he's a good hoomin, too.
So Dadda issa onliest person datta pwace knew to call who culd run dose machines, as well as run da 'puters, an' an alla dat udder stuff dey need him tado, cos Our Dadda issa Engine-Wif-Ears, an berry 'Tellyginet.
An' you know whut else? Our Phil-da-Lad gotted a noo car! An' dis means dat he can come an' visit at Our Warren (cos Maman an' Dadda are geddin' too owd to go an' visit him an' 'Lanna onna'count ob Maman not bein' able to sit inna car dat wong.). So now dey can come to us inna Noo Car! Maman sed dere wassa wotta "buggerin' about" geddin' dis noo car, but you know whut I fink?
I fink dat dere is nuffin' dat geds done dat doesn't take a whole lotta buggerin' about onna pawt obba hoomins.
Some day, I will hab to write a blog aboud dis "Bugger Faktor" as Dadda calls it, but for now, dere issa sunbeam comin' in heer, so I fink I will just follow Hunny's adbice an' hab dis wisp ob hay an' habba nap.