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Saturday, 19 March 2005
Just Another Day In Paradise
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: We Are Family
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, it's still goin' on.

We moobed, but it's still not cleer 'zactly whut dis is ennymore.

You wuld fink dat afta habbin libbed through the Furst Generation ob Our Warren, da Dawg anna Catz wuld unnerstand alla'boud libbin wif House Bunnies. But no, ebberyfing is still all confusion an consternashun.

Da collie Dawg says we're pawt ob his Pack. You wanna seeda Dawg? Heer is his pickchur.

Da catz say we are pawt ob dere Chowder.

We bunnies say dey are Alla Us Togedder pawt ob Our Warren.

Anna Dawg says he issa Top Dawg inna Pack.
An Cokie-da-Fat-Cat says he issa Top Cat inna Chowder.

An I, George, amma Top Bun inna Warren, but dat is only if Mouse an Beeb bof agree, which is not alla time (onna count ob us habbin dees pee-wars now an den dat seems to bodder Maman. She says we are "Stinky Boyz" an den she geds outta mega-stinky Swiffer thingie dat Phil-da-Lad gots for her. An' she says WE stink!).

Heer issa pickchur ob me:

Bud ennyway... dere seem to be way too menny fings to belong to an too menny "Top" dis an dats.

And just to complykate fings furder, Maman an Dadda are in the whole mix, an mostly wiffoud knowin' aboud it which is Hoomins all ober. They ushally don't realise much until it hits 'em ober da hed like a tonne ob bricks.

You see, frumma Dawg's point-ob-view, Dadda is rilly the Top Dog inna Pack, which makes him whut is called, "Da Alpha Male". So, inna Dawg's view, dat makes Maman da "Alpha Female".

Conseequently, our Collie Dawg sees himself assa "Number One Sub-dominant Male", which means (Lemme see if I hab dis rite) dat he is second only to Dadda, an don't take orders frum ennybunny 'cept Daddy or Maman, and geds to eat furst afta Dadda an Maman, which is bifore enny catz, who are lower down onna scale ob Dawg HigherArchy.

Dawgs is berry organised.

Dawgs also hab "jobs" an dis is where we bunnies come in.

We are da Dawg's Primary Job. A'course, nobunny axted us, an we shure didn't axt to be pawt ob his Job, but heer we are...and dis is mainly cossa Maman. She has somehow let da Dawg know dat we hab to be protekted at all times. Dis means dat NO ONE can come innu da Bun Room wiffout da permisshun obba Dawg - and dat means dey habba axt Maman furst, or else da Dawg will chase dem out. Dis does not inclood Dadda, who, as Alpha Male, can do ennyfing he wants, except hurt Maman. If Maman geds hugged, denna Dawg hasta ged inna middle an protekt Maman. It's pawt ob his Job, too.

So Dawg society issa whole lot dif'runt an more complykated frum Rabbit Soceity.

Den dere is Cat Society which is also diffrunt frum an more complykated ebben den Dawg society.

Cossa catz fink ebberyfing inna whole werld belongs to them. If they can see it, it's their's an they can claim it. An so dey divide uppa houz between dem wiffoud conslutin da Dawg who finks da whole werld belongs to them.

Well, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat says he issa Tom, which means dat he gets to select fings furst wiffa permission obba Queen who is da Stoopit Cat who Maman calls "Beep" cos she hasn't told us her name yet.

Now dis Queen cat has been libbin heer for a long time, an Cokie didn't ebben know aboud her when Maman and Dadda brought him heer. He knew aboudda Dawg, cossa Dawg had been to visit Cokie in Cokie's houz, but now Cokie was comin to lib wiffa Dawg inna Dawg's houz, so alla Roolz were dif'frunt. An den Cokie discubbered da Stoopit Cat libbin uppastairs.

Well, dey were muchually surprised to see each udder, anna Dawg was like to habba fit cos he knew he was out-numbered two to one. So he fitted "Catz" innu his werld-view unnerneaf ob "rabbits", an put dem innu his Pack wiffoud realisin' dat dey were puttin him innu dere Chowder somewhere unnderneaf "rabbits" assa point-ob-innerest.

An as far assa Catz are conserned, we rabbits are funny-wookin catz. Cokie hadda run-in wif Belinda oncet, so he knows dat you don't ged close to rabbits unless you wike bein' hed-butted acrosst da floor. I fink he told Da Stoopit Cat alla'boud it, cos she don't ged up to wook at us, but she does try to come innu da Bun Room to take our hay. Why she wants our hay issa mystery, but she does - and dis alarums da Dawg who is protektin' us as pawt ob his Job.

Budda Catz don't seem to fink we need protecktin', an nedder do we. I mean, rilly, Belinda told me whut to do aboudda catz:

Furst you *thump* to warn 'em, an if they don't listen, you *honk*. If that still don't werk, you lower you hed and charge full-speeds atta middle obba cat, an' plough rite innu 'em. Then they gedda message as they are rollin acrosst da floor: don't mess wiffa rabbits. Missy sed also datta bite-onna-nose will werk wonders at improvin' cat memories aboud why dey shuldn't mess wif rabbits. Now heer issa pickchur obba Cokie-da-Fat-Cat:

At enny rate, we don't need Dawgs, rilly, but if da Collie Dawg wants to be pawt obba Warren, well, we kin find a pwace for him assa cushion, or wind-break, or shade. We don't need protekshun an we aren't an employmint oppertunity, eidder, an we shure don't need to be barked at, snuffled or sneezed ober.

We are Our Warren, Alla Us Togedder, NoBunny OnAlone.

So which pawt ob dis can't enny obba three ob dem unnerstand?

Awww, geez... now da Dawg is barkin inna Sittin' Room! An dere goes Maman to sort him oud... an heer comes a cat, runnin'...anna Dawg, chasin', an Maman, scurryin...I fink I herd sumfing go "crash" - nope, dat wassa TeeBee turnin' on - Cokie-da-Fat-Cat has sat onna Remote again...

Anudder day in Paradise...

-------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 11:18 AM EST
Updated: Saturday, 19 March 2005 11:26 AM EST
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